Effective Tips for Positive Communication
1. Ask and inform you partner about what your needs are: Your partner can’t read your mind, so don’t force
him or her to try. Avoid sending hints or beating around the bush with "mind games"; they may seem cute
and fun, but your partner might not always think so.
2. Make time during the day to talk to your partner: 30 minutes a day, preferably sometime during the
evening, after you have both had time to wind down, find out what each other did during the day, share
thoughts, experiences, etc... MAKE THIS HABITUAL!
3. Avoid critical and absolute words: Critical words are words which show judgment: "Why did you…?" or
"You shouldn‘t have done it that way." Absolute words form roadblocks to communication, preventing
improvement: "You will never…" or "You always…."
4. If you are upset, take time to release some of your stress: Be considerate of your partner by not taking
your frustrations on him or her. Try journaling, taking a walking, or talking yourself through your thoughts
to clear your mind. Diffusion of small problems allows you to be more attentive and less reactive to your
partner.
5. Remember and reinforce the concept of teamwork: Realize that in a healthy, loving relationship no one
"wins" an argument; serious commitment means meeting your partner halfway. Attempt to resolve the
issue as a team by finding a way to fix the situation through compromising and understanding.
6. Exhibit to each other that you understand where the other person is coming from: Validate your
partner’s feelings by having empathy, attempting to understand, and clarifying his or her thoughts.
Ask questions to prove that you are genuinely interested in what he or she has to say. By summarizing
what your partner tells you, you are showing your partner that you are an attentive listener who is making
the effort to ensure he or she is being understood.
If you are having difficulty communicating in your relationship, there is hope! You can work out the kinks and create a more effective way of communicating. I want to help you get your relationship back on track. Give me a call at (619) 471-7104 to schedule an appointment. |